#and i would win because i hate him that much

[tinfoil-jones]

Jerk Ford AU: Silliness IV

Jerk Ford's behaviour was way worse while he was in the multiverse because while he was in his own dimension, Stan was there to keep him from going too far, and to mediate his interactions with other people when it came to important business.

Once he fell through the portal? Completely unrestrained.

Here's a small list of some of things he's done across the multiverse:

Un-sunk the mythical City of Atlantis to get back at a 'sh*tty tourist company'

Lifetime ban from all Space Waffle House locations across time and space for inciting a riot because a waitress kept calling him 'honey'.

Had someone legally assigned to permanent Cosmic Jury Duty.

Sowing the seeds of an extremely invasive and fast-growing varient of cucumber all over a large city in the Cat Dimension.

Not giving his two weeks notice at Space Hooters.

Infecting a galaxy-encompassing digital records archive with a virus that changed every third noun to be replaced with the word 'dick'.

Invading a weed farm on a parallel Earth and replacing the 'mother plant' that all of the other weed plants were cloned from with a strain of marijuanna thats identical in every way, except it produces no THC.

Impersonated one of the Bounty Hunter versions of Ford so he could fake his own death, collect the bounty for himself from the Ford Hate Club, crash the party they threw to celebrate, and then slip away right as the real Bounty Hunter Ford showed up to report that he'd failed to capture Jerk Ford.

---

Remember how in a reverse portal what-if Jerk Ford told Fiddleford he would blow up the planet if he didn't help him rebuild the portal? And Fiddleford called his bluff?

Imagine you're Bill Cipher, and an oddly calm Stanford Pines tells you that in three days, he's going to blow up the Nightmare Realm with you in it.

So you laugh, because he's bluffing.

Two days later, it turns out he wasn't bluffing about blowing up the Nightmare Realm with you in it.

He was bluffing about giving you a third day, because he's a jerk like that.

---

Boss Music? This guy isn't much of a fighter, he isn't a boss fight. It isn't hard to finish a fight with him because he's impossible to beat in a hand-to-hand fight - he isn't very strong compared to most versions of Ford Pines- it's hard to finish a fight with him because he's slippery. He's just going to escape and run if he doesn't think he can win.

If I were to give him a theme song or something, it'd probably be Dangerous by Jorge Rivera-Herrans. Mostly because of the "I have to get home" sentiment.

You have to ignore the fact that he didn't actually get himself home, just like canon Ford his brother had to fix the portal to bring him back.

Bro was at least trying to get back home.

Here's a Jerk Ford Playlist by @tearosepedall

---

Actually, the reverse portal scenario doesn't go quite the way you think it does.

Jerk Ford has to pretend to be Stanley. A school teacher. A resident of society that Gravity Falls actually loves. When he's been an active menace to society his whole life.

Stanley gets shoved into an unforgiving multiverse full of monsters, demons, aliens, and versions of his brother who project their resentment and anger towards their actual twin onto him instead as a proxy.

And they both ask themselves: "What would my brother do in this situation?"

Anyways, this is what happens with Stanley:

And this is what happens with Jerk Ford:

---

Fun fact: Jerk Ford is the reason there's no gnome queen.

While he was studying the gnomes during his researcher years in Gravity Falls, he discovered that the Gnomes only had one female, who was their queen by default.

Anyways he talks to her about how her greatest ambition in life shouldn't be having a hundred husbands and being barefoot and pregnant forever. No, her greatest ambition in life should be being one of the greatest hat models the world has ever known.

Anyways now she lives in New York, she may or may not also be a drug lord in the pixie dust cartel.

Soos, Mabel, and Dipper tried asking the mail box questions once.

It sent them a really long, angry, rambling letter starting with "What the f*ck did you just f*cking say about me, you little b*tch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals,"

Later on Dipper asked Ford about it, and he reveals that he traumatized the entity on the other side of the mailbox by sending it the question "is your refrigerator running?" every day for almost six years straight.

[the-way-astray]

lyrical breakdown . . .

(Verse 1)

There once was a boy from a series for kids

Fan favorite, created as comic relief

exactly!!!! he was created as comic relief!!!! actually he wasn’t even supposed to exist, but. anyway why did shannon give him the legacy plotline . . . please . . . go back to when he was just a side character . . .

But there was a girl who didn’t find him comedic

Her name was Stria, his name was Keefe

accurate.

(Verse 2)

So let’s just say for this song they’re the same age

And either she’s fictional too or he’s real

he should be real so i can put him in the very real dirt

And Stria for some reason is her given name

lmfaoooo i have definitely explained this one. it comes from astray, like my username. astray -> astrya -> strya -> stria . . . we ignore that it means stretch marks. i did not know that

Just wait for what their story will make you feel

hopefully unadulterated rage. that's what it's making me feel

(Chorus)

An unlikely couple

Hatred to love

LOVE IS CRAZY . . . and yes we are unlikely. in fact we are extinct

She was nothing to him

Now she’s more than enough

keefe would not give two shits about me . . . i would be nothing to him. actually

She thought he was toxic

i still think that. actually

Now she understands

One must always follow

What their heart commands

MY HEART IS COMMANDING ME TO HATE KEEFE IRWIN SENCEN

(Verse 3)

She wrote a whole rant about everything wrong

With how he would talk and the way that he’d act

this is correct. almost the only part of this song that isn't slanderous lies

The day they met she said she was right all along

Told him off and rolled her eyes when he said he felt “attacked”

how did we meet in the song's lore . . . and okay keefe. feel attacked. see if i care. in fact this should encourage you to consider staying away . . .

(Verse 4)

But Keefe had this thing where he hated himself

He was going through it, that much was for sure

pro keefe propaganda in a strieefe song? fork found in kitchen . . . *stops myself from ranting about how i don't care if keefe is going through it, he still faces no consequ-*

He thought long and hard about Stria’s words well

Decided she was right and he should thank her

are we talking about the same keefe. i think you may be singing about a different keefe than i am

(Chorus)

An unlikely couple

Hatred to friends

i love how the first chorus goes "hatred to love" and then decides to dial it down a notch with "hatred to friends" in the second one

He was nothing to her

CORRECT!!!! RAHHHH!!!!

We’ll see how it ends

this song's ending is slander and lies. don't listen to it

She thought he was toxic

But she’s soon to understand

One must always follow

What their heart commands

KILLING KEEFE MAIMING KEEFE BITING KEEFE EXPLODING KEEFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Verse 5)

Stria couldn’t believe he would own his mistakes

yeah there's no way i'm believing that because it didn't happen

But he swore he got it and promised to change

. . . did he though. did he really . . .

She didn’t believe it and thought it was fake

it probably is. waiting for the other shoe to drop (it will, trust) (don't listen to katie's propaganda, this song is leaving some stuff out)

He took in stride, which Stria thought was strange

he would never . . .

(Verse 6)

Alayda watched from the sidelines and was grinning

yeah, sounds like her

And Katie (that’s me, I’m Katie) took notes furiously

and then warped and skewed the notes beyond repair and put them into rhyming verses and sang it in a song. but i guess that's too long of a line to include

Alayda said, “Katie it looks like we’re winning”

alayda is also a traitor to the sokeefe nation. in case anyone cares

But I ship him with Sophie, so I said “who’s we??”

YOU LITERALLY ADMITTED TO WRITING A STRIEEFE FIC AND YOU WROTE THIS STRIEEFE SONG DON'T PRETEND YOU AREN'T A TRAITOR TO THE SOKEEFE NATION

(Chorus)

An unlikely couple

Hatred to something

"something" is still hatred. hope this helps

He was nothing to her

Now he’s surely more than nothing

actually, he's less than nothing

She thought he was toxic

But soon she’ll understand

One must always follow

What their heart commands

my heart is commanding me to beat katie up with a shoe. and i still think he's toxic

(Verse 7)

Keefe day by day proved he meant what he said

. . . what version of keefe is this song about????

And Stria rethought the whole rant that she’d made

rethinking some parts, but definitely not the entire thing

She said “fine okay, I guess we can be friends”

i hate his sense of humor i would never be able to get along with him

He wanted more than that and asked for a date

can i please leave now

(Verse 8)

She said before they could be something more

She had a condition, he must be okay

i would never consider this. this is stria slander

With sharing her eternally with four times four

Just like the amount of letters in his name

THIS SEEMS LIKE A WELL-INTENTIONED SIXTEEN MENTION BUT IT'S JUST AN EXCUSE TO BRING UP THE FACT THAT SHANNON HATES ME AND WANTS ME DEAD AND MADE KEEFE'S MIDDLE NAME HAVE FIVE LETTERS SO THAT HIS FULL NAME HAS SIXTEEN LETTERS THIS IS KATIE MANIPULATION I'M NOT CRAZY

(Chorus)

And he said yes!

he could never live up the the very high bar that my true love, the number sixteen, has set

An unlikely couple

Hatred to love

THIS VERSION IS BACK

Just him and sixteen

Now that’s more than enough

just sixteen is more than enough. sixteen and keefe is less than enough

She thought he was toxic

Now she understands

One must always follow

What their heart commands

my heart is commanding me to elope with sixteen and leave keefe in the dirt

*ridiculous electric guitar solo by Katie’s brother*

the best part of the song. also you forgot some key lyrics. here, i'll fix it for you

*katie laughing*

okay, that's enough of that

i agree. that's enough of strieefe for a lifetime

As promised, 8-verse song about strieefe!

featuring my brother at the end 😭😭

For those who don’t know the joke, Stria @the-way-astray HAAAATES Keefe Sencen. So naturally it’s a ship! And after this memories post happened, well, I had no choice!

LYRICS UNDER THE CUT

(Verse 1)

There once was a boy from a series for kids

Fan favorite, created as comic relief

But there was a girl who didn’t find him comedic

Her name was Stria, his name was Keefe

(Verse 2)

So let’s just say for this song they’re the same age

And either she’s fictional too or he’s real

And Stria for some reason is her given name

Just wait for what their story will make you feel

(Chorus)

An unlikely couple

Hatred to love

She was nothing to him

Now she’s more than enough

She thought he was toxic

Now she understands

One must always follow

What their heart commands

(Verse 3)

She wrote a whole rant about everything wrong

With how he would talk and the way that he’d act

The day they met she said she was right all along

Told him off and rolled her eyes when he said he felt “attacked”

(Verse 4)

But Keefe had this thing where he hated himself

He was going through it, that much was for sure

He thought long and hard about Stria’s words well

Decided she was right and he should thank her

(Chorus)

An unlikely couple

Hatred to friends

He was nothing to her

We’ll see how it ends

She thought he was toxic

But she’s soon to understand

One must always follow

What their heart commands

(Verse 5)

Stria couldn’t believe he would own his mistakes

But he swore he got it and promised to change

She didn’t believe it and thought it was fake

He took in stride, which Stria thought was strange

(Verse 6)

Alayda watched from the sidelines and was grinning

And Katie (that’s me, I’m Katie) took notes furiously

Alayda said, “Katie it looks like we’re winning”

But I ship him with Sophie, so I said “who’s we??”

(Chorus)

An unlikely couple

Hatred to something

He was nothing to her

Now he’s surely more than nothing

She thought he was toxic

But soon she’ll understand

One must always follow

What their heart commands

(Verse 7)

Keefe day by day proved he meant what he said

And Stria rethought the whole rant that she’d made

She said “fine okay, I guess we can be friends”

He wanted more than that and asked for a date

(Verse 8)

She said before they could be something more

She had a condition, he must be okay

With sharing her eternally with four times four

Just like the amount of letters in his name

(Chorus)

And he said yes!

An unlikely couple

Hatred to love

Just him and sixteen

Now that’s more than enough

She thought he was toxic

Now she understands

One must always follow

What their heart commands

An unlikely couple

Hatred to love

She was nothing to him

Now she’s more than enough

She thought he was toxic

Now she understands

One must always follow

What their heart commands

One must always follow

What their heart commands

*ridiculous electric guitar solo by Katie’s brother*

If you made it this far, congrats! Check out my serious kotlc songs by looking up #kotlc songs or #original music on my blog!! Or not. You could always just judge my musical abilities forever and ever by this recording of me making Stria angry, which, okay, valid.

@the-way-astray @alaydabug2 @thishumanformislimiting @worldsunlikemyown @permanently-stressed @lisalovesapplesauce @jeannefostergoriot

[mattnickchrisfan]

the games we play - m.s

warnings: pure fluff, tension, dirty talk (not in a sexual way just like flirty banter)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"The Games We Play"

Matt Sturniolo had never been the type to chase people. It wasn’t his style—he was chill, laid-back, and let things come naturally. But then… you walked into his life.

It started innocently enough. You were a part of their usual group of friends, someone who everyone liked and who always seemed to be the center of attention. Matt would catch glimpses of you during hangouts, never thinking much of it. You had that reputation, after all—flirty, charming, and the kind of person who never stayed too long in one place. You didn’t get too attached to anyone.

And then, one day, his world shifted.

It was a typical Friday night at Nick’s place, the usual mix of friends piled up on the couch, chatting, laughing, the room filled with comfortable chaos. Matt was at the far end, trying his best to focus on a game, but every time he looked up, there you were—talking to someone, laughing, throwing that playful look around the room, as if you had the power to make everyone hang on your every word.

But when your eyes landed on him, the air shifted. The playful glint in your eyes held something else—a challenge, maybe. You leaned back against the couch, your attention now fixed solely on Matt.

“Hey, Matt,” you said, voice low, teasing. “You seem awfully quiet tonight. Something on your mind?”

Matt’s heart skipped, and he nearly choked on the soda he was sipping. He wasn’t sure if it was your tone or the way you were looking at him, but it made his stomach tighten in ways he didn’t want to acknowledge.

“Nah, just focusing on the game,” he muttered, immediately regretting how awkward he sounded. He could feel his face heating up.

“Uh-huh,” you drawled, clearly unconvinced. “You always look so... serious when you play.”

Matt shrugged, forcing his gaze back down at the game in front of him, but the problem was, he couldn’t focus. Not when you were so close, looking at him like you were trying to figure him out. He hated that feeling—that feeling of being under a microscope, like you could see right through him.

“I’m not serious,” he replied, his voice quieter than usual.

You tilted your head slightly, studying him, and a small smirk tugged at your lips. “Mmm, you sure? You seem kind of... intense tonight.”

You were doing that thing again—making him feel like he was in a game he didn’t know the rules for. The way you spoke to him was different from how you talked to everyone else. There was something almost dangerous in it, a challenge that Matt wasn’t sure he was ready to accept.

But despite the way his stomach fluttered nervously, he didn’t back down. “Not intense,” he said with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Just... trying to win.”

“Is that so?” You leaned in a little closer, dropping your voice to a teasing whisper. “Well, you should know—I’m the one who always wins.”

And just like that, the tension shot through the room like an electric current. Matt’s heart was racing, but he didn’t want to show it. He knew you were just playing with him, messing around as you always did with everyone, but there was something about the way you said it—something that made Matt’s breath hitch in his throat.

“Yeah?” He leaned in slightly, his voice dropping an octave. “What if I told you I wasn’t afraid of losing?”

Your eyes sparkled with mischief, and for a moment, the whole room seemed to fade away. It was just the two of you now, locked in this little battle, your words dancing around each other like a slow-burning fire.

“You sure about that?” you whispered, barely an inch away now. The scent of your perfume—sweet but spicy—was making Matt’s head spin. “Because I don’t lose, Matt. And I’m not sure you’re ready to play my game.”

Oh, God.

Matt felt his heart rate spike, but he refused to look away, even though everything inside him screamed to look down, to break the intensity that was building between the two of you.

He was already in deep, though. You had him, and you knew it. But for once, he wasn’t pulling back.

“I’m not sure you know how to play a fair game,” he muttered, unable to hide the smile creeping on his lips.

You raised an eyebrow, your lips curving upward into that infuriatingly perfect smirk of yours. “I don’t play fair. Haven’t you figured that out by now?”

The words were a challenge, a dare. And as much as Matt wanted to hold his ground, he couldn’t help but be drawn in by your confidence, by that ever-present allure that seemed to surround you.

He glanced over at Chris and Nick, who were blissfully oblivious to the silent war happening between you and him. The world seemed to have narrowed down to just the two of you. The air was thick, like you were both holding your breath, waiting for someone to make the next move.

It was a moment that lasted forever.

“Maybe that’s why I like you,” Matt said suddenly, the words slipping out before he could stop them.

You blinked, caught off guard, your smirk faltering just a little. “You like me?” You said the words slowly, as though testing them on your tongue.

“Yeah,” Matt replied, his voice quieter now, almost shy in contrast to his usual cocky demeanor. “I like the game you play. Even if I’m not sure I know how to win.”

The moment hung between you, thick with unspoken feelings. You stared at him for a long time, and Matt thought maybe he’d messed it all up. Maybe he’d pushed you too far. But then, slowly, your expression softened.

“You’re cute, Sturniolo,” you murmured, voice surprisingly tender. “You know that?”

Matt felt his breath catch in his throat. Was this... was this happening?

He cleared his throat, trying to mask the sudden rush of emotions flooding through him. “So, what now? Do I just keep playing and hope I’m not losing?”

You leaned closer again, so close he could feel the warmth of your breath against his skin. His heart pounded, his hands twitching at his sides, desperate to do something—anything—to break the tension. But you held his gaze, not backing down.

“No,” you said softly, just before your lips brushed against his ear. “Now, you stop pretending like you don’t care... and admit that you’re already in way deeper than you ever thought.”

Matt’s breath hitched as your words settled into him, every nerve ending buzzing with the realization that this wasn’t just some playful back-and-forth. This was real. And for the first time in a long while, he didn’t want to run from it.

“You’re playing with fire,” Matt whispered, a small smile tugging at his lips.

You looked at him with that same, daring spark in your eye. “I know,” you said, grinning. “And I think you like it.”

And for the first time, Matt didn’t bother denying it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a/n: woah why is fluff lowkey so fun to write? hope you guys enjoyyyyy

[heartach3d]

it's okay.

luke castellan x reader

not requested!

1.3k words

showluke implied because Im a charlie bushnell girl

today has been the absolute worst day. from the start of the day towards the middle of it all of it. has been the absolute worst.

it's making my patience small and I know I'm gonna burst out at someone any minute now. and then I'm gonna regret it terribly.

I just hope it isn't at someone who doesn't deserve it. I mean if it's some douche I wouldn't really feel bad (not at all)

but if its to annabeth or luke or something I would feel so terrible.

in the morning I had to clean the pegasus stables and that is already terrible enough.

then I was late to breakfast so I ate nothing and lunch is disgusting today! so I just sat at my table and I had no one to talk to and when I tried talking I would always get cut off!

I mean I love my siblings but sometimes they talk to much! so I was lonely like all day basically and I don't do good with no one to talk to.

I don't know why I just have to talk to someone or I'll go crazy in my own thoughts and then that's when it gets bad again.

I've tried to fix it or help it but I just can't. it always comes back.

now I have to do training with luke. and don't get me wrong I love training with him it's just. I feel like he treats me like a baby. I've seen the way he let's me win.

I'm tired of it. I'm tired of feeling little. and I know that's not his intention so I try and go harder. and maybe when he realizes I can take care of myself then he'll go a little harder.

I walked to our spot where we train. it was always in the woods for some reason. maybe it was more intimate

"you ready?" I heard from behind me as I was looking for him. "I guess" I say fiddling with my fingers and looking down a little.

"what's wrong?" "nothing- nothings wrong okay?" I say setting my stuff down and getting ready.

"let's just get started?" I say trying to lighten up the mood i created when I saw his confused face.

-

I had tried my best I know I did. and I could tell. he wasn't trying at all!

I mean I get he's only training with me because I could use some help but damn this isn't helping at all!

he's the best swordsman at the camp and he can't even make it seem like he's trying? I'm just getting so frustrated putting my all for.. for.. nothing!

my sword slices through the air one last time before I had gotten to my frustration point.

"why do you always have to do this?!" he looks up for a second before I continue "I mean your supposed to be the best at camp and you can't even pretend to fake it for me!"

"I hate this, I hate this sword, I hate these people and everything!" I say throwing my sword to the floor and going down with it.

it was all really a blur next. but I don't know if its because I was crying or because of my little episode.

I'm sitting on the floor knees to my head and holding onto myself like if I let go I would fall apart like a puzzle and never be able to put myself together again.

I heard lukes voice from the side of me. "hey hey it's okay! what's wrong please tell me what's wrong." he said wrapping his arm around me.

"please I want to know your okay what happened, are you hurt?" he keeps persisting and I don't even know what to say.

'oh I've been mad all day so now I'm bringing it out on you!' see when you say it in your mind it sounds worse.

"I'm sorry luke I'm so so sorry!" I say rocking back and forth slightly. I just whisper to myself sorrys and how I shouldn't have brought it down on him.

"hey hey you have nothing to apologize for." he says trying to get my attention from my head still burried in my knees.

"I promise I didn't mean it please don't break up with me I'm sorry!" I ramble not knowing what to say but wanting to express my sorrys.

he gently lifts my head and cups my cheeks. "I am not breaking up with you over something this little. I could not even think about it" he slowly wipes my tear stained cheeks with the pads of his thumbs.

he allows me to calm down a bit before asking again "now would you mind telling me what happened to make my girl freak out like this?"

"it's dumb. just a horrible morning. and you didn't deserve to have it brought onto you." I say blinking my wet lashes away.

"I don't care for any of that. your my girl and I just want to know what's going on so I can help." he whispers as he kisses my temple. "got it?"

"got it." I say smiling lightly at him. "good now come on its getting a bit late" he says patting my leg and helping me get up.

helloo! I thought this would be cute so I whipped it up quickly before I went to bed! also! the cut was only a few minutes later I would say to support the timeline more!

[maruyaaya]

some of my random neomachus headcanons bc i think abt them a lot while writing and sometimes just scrawl random notes like these in my notes app

neo is two years older than telemachus (it’s so hard to put greek mythology on a timeline but the way it makes the most sense to me is that achilles and deidamia have neo when achilles is 15 and then 2 years later, the trojan war starts and 17 year old achilles and 18/19 year old patroclus go to war. telemachus is born at round the start of the trojan war since he is 20 when odysseus returns and his journey took 20 years. so in the war’s tenth year, neo is 12 and telemachus is 10. so in my neomachus fic, neo is 22 and telemachus is 20)

neo is taller. neo has his father’s build so he’s tall and lean like achilles. i think telemachus takes after odysseus' height and he's rather short (still a little bit taller than odysseus though)

both neo and telemachus look like their fathers but with their mothers colourings. neo has deidamia’s red hair but achilles’ hazel eyes. telemachus has penelope’s blue eyes but odysseus’ brown hair.

sparring is their love language. neo wins nearly every single time, but it's a way for them to show affection

telemachus is a words of affirmation love language while neo is an acts of service love language

telemachus is really into physical touch. he’ll just randomly put his arm around neo’s shoulders or something like that and neo will fucking blue screen

modern au neo only listens to like mcr and føb. telemachus is a paramore stan. if they were on stantwt, they would hate each other—they'd get into so many stan wars and they'd be pqrting each other with death threats. telemachus would probably write a cancel thread on neo. then they'd fall in love and e-date

neo is surprisingly clingy and jealous. he def has attachment issues so whenever he sees telemachus getting along with someone (which is often bc telemachus is very charismatic and likeable), he starts to get all huffy and pouty. i think they'd probably fight over this bc telemachus hates it when neo is jealous, but neo can't help it

they bond over daddy issues. both of them had absent fathers and they love to talk shit abt their dads (they do love their dads, but sometimes it's aggravating)

neo is the epitome of guard dog privilege. he has resting bitch face and he constantly looks like he has murder on the mind. nobody dares to approach him and telemachus when neo is scowling

neo is very musically inclined while telemachus is tone deaf and it is the funniest thing ever to me. i imagine nobody has ever told telemachus that he's tone deaf so he honestly has no idea. neo will never ever tell him

on the other hand, i imagine telemachus being artistically inclined while neo cannot even draw a stick figure. idk i just really love the idea of them both being talented in different art forms. i think telemachus would be pretty good at writing as well, but he has godawful printing while neo has small, neat printing

telemachus is very charismatic while neo is very socially awkward and struggles with social cues. telemachus likes to fuck with him and tease him because neo is very oblivious. neo will never pick up on telemachus’ flirting. he has to hear I Am In Love With You in order to understand that telemachus is seriously flirting with him

TELEMACHUS IS SO TOTALLY A BOOK LOVER he reads like 100 books a year and he loves to read every genre though he particularly loves fantasy as well as litfic. if this is a modern au, i feel like neo is not a reader but instead is a film snob. they’re the goodreads x letterboxd dynamic

speaking of, telemachus would totally be a horror enjoyer to me. he just finds it so fun. i think neo also enjoys horror but not as much as telemachus

SO MANY OF THESE HAVE BEEN MODERN AU IM SORRY idk i just really love thinking abt modern au headcanons those are so fun ok ill leave this at that for now

[regretsofaghost]

Part 3- you'll always be my closest friend, I lost myself but I struggle too, so please tell me, was I good to you?

AO3 link to chapter 3- here Tumblr link to chapter 2-here Tumblr link to chapter 4- here

Word Count- 700 words

It was getting to early morning, when Charles had begun to worry about Edwin’s whereabouts. They had tried to make a habit in recent months of not being gone from each other for too long, to come back within six hours of leaving, if that. Edwin had skirted close to this deadline on multiple occasions, coming back at five hours and thirty minutes for instance.

It made Charles feel like a nag, to pay such close attention to how long his friend was gone for, but he could not help it.

He had spent too much time neglecting Edwin, since meeting Crystal, that the prospect of doing so again left a terrible taste in his mouth.

Sometimes he still wondered, what Edwin would taste like, underneath that sweet-piney taste of gin.

Still, it should not have been remarkable, when Charles’ eyes flew up to the mirror at a clatter, Edwin’s form stumbling in, looking like he just barely kept himself upright. Charles moved quicker than he thought possible, hands coming up to catch his friend, worry shooting through the roof when all Edwin did was laugh.

“Charles,” Edwin’s voice was slurred, the r of his name all but lost in his posh accent as his hands came up to grip the arms that held him. Charles opened his mouth to say something, anything, but found his eyes tracking the way Edwin’s tongue darted out to lick hi slips, and perhaps he was more obvious than he thought, because as quick as Charles had been in catching Edwin, Edwin rushed forward to press his lips against Charles’.

It wasn’t a good kiss, too hard, too much teeth, but Charles could not stop Edwin, could not deny him, would never wish to.

It wasn’t sweet, like those kisses that night, all those months ago.

“You’re mush better at that than-“ Edwin began to say, before he cut himself off. “No, that’d upset you, to hear. I’ve been trying my best to not upset you. Has it worked?”

Charles looked at Edwin, his glossy eyes, slurred speech, the way he pressed himself so closely to Charles that they might begin to meld into each other soon enough.

“You’ve drunk that potion, haven’t you?” Charles asked, knowing the answer, even if it made his stomach knot, a weight dropped on his chest.

Edwin was supposed to be doing better.

“You’re upset,” Edwin said, and Charles couldn’t reply, because he was. He could not offer reassurance, could not mask worry and anger, not when it came to Edwin’s safety.

“Of course I’m bloody upset! You went and got- fucking sloshed again, gone all night, what if something happened to you? I wouldn’t even know till it was too late!” Charles took a shaking breath, trying to be mindful of his hands still holding onto Edwin, to not grip him tightly and hurt him.

“I-“ Edwin began, licking his lips, looking so lost, and Charles hated that he was the cause, but he needed to know, what Edwin had planned, if he were hurt, if something happened.

Edwin with his big ol’ brain, usually thinking ten steps ahead, but sometimes losing himself in the way only sixteen year olds can.

It was then, that Charles saw them, again.

Bruises, along Edwin’s throat, where his dress shirt was messily unbuttoned, his bowtie undone, the way his hair was disheveled and wavy.,

“Did you meet up with someone?”

Those kisses-

They were supposed to mean something.

Was Charles not enough anymore?

Was he too late?

“What?” Edwin’s hand came up to his collar, his cheeks turning an impressive shade of pink as if he was just reminded of where he was.

Edwin was not Charles’

But how he wanted him to be.

Each other’s.

Like they were for over thirty years.

Before everything changed.

For better and for worse.

“Win…” Charles’ voice was softer than he meant for it to be, just above a whisper, but Edwin looked at him all the same., attention grabbed, and his lovely eyes looked at Charles like he were the most important thing in the universe. “Where did you go?”

Edwin took a shaking breath, his reply on his lips, the door opened.

[aceyanaheim]

me every gilmore girls rewatch: I will fight Richard Gilmore with my BARE HANDS.

[governmentofficial]

They were certainly not going to allow her to take a knife, nor could Mycroft think of an alternative she could demonstrate with without looking ridiculous. Because of that, he quickly dismissed the idea of even attempting such a display. Time was a precious resource for them, and they needed to spend it elsewhere.

"I hate singing," Mycroft did allow himself to grumble quietly. When done well, it could be tolerable, but he had absolutely no desire to listen to a district girl attempt it. However, despite that, he could not deny that it would be a good tactic when it came to winning the crowd's approval. The truth of the matter was that as a general rule, the public were blind, easily distracted imbeciles.

At least Clove had finally admitted that Mycroft knew what he was talking about. Of course he did; he always did.

"Some of the other tributes seem keen to surround themselves with equal and stronger strength. While they would obviously be predicting eventual betrayal, as that is the only way one can win, I suspect they would assume it would not come until all others had been eliminated. Why wait, though? Surely it is wiser to eliminate the strong first, and then pick off the easy to overpower weaker individuals?"

This was all very situation dependant, though. In order to achieve victory, Clove was going to have to adapt to what was going on around her. They could strategise as much as they like - it would all be useless if she could not be independently flexible.

"In your interview, you could offer to show the host a few moves, using him as a demonstration partner. It would be risky and you would have to be gentle, but it would make good television and it would certainly catch the crowd's eye. Announce what you are going to do before you do it, and release him immediately after. Any surprise moves or lingering aggression would result in a hostile response."

𝐌𝐘𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐓 & 𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 @governmentofficial

A few tricks for the camera. Clove's nose wrinkled in distaste. She wasn't a show pony. But if it meant getting food and water sent to the arena, then she wasn't stupid enough to ignore such an opportunity. "So what? I have to introduce myself?" she asked, frowning, "or should I actually show people what I can do? I'm very good with a knife." But she was pretty sure the peacekeepers wouldn't let her wave a knife around on live television. They wouldn't allow her a knife in the first place. Tributes could only have weapons in the arena.

She shot a quick glance at the girl from 12. "This one is gonna sing, then. There's no doubt about it." Could it actually gain her the Capitol's favours? How annoying, that a little song could have an effect on people. Not that it would do the girl any good in the arena.

Clove agreed, braggarts were idiots. But maybe it was because she was used to being underestimated, and had learned a long time ago that it was a precious advantage. "You know what you're talking about, rich boy," she conceded, offering him a little grin.

"I'm more the aggressive type." The truth was that Clove didn't have any friends, and so she didn't really care about allies, either. But she also knew that her small frame could be a disadvantage, especially without the effect of surprise. "I guess I could try to create some alliances. Kill them when they least suspect it."

[bumblingbabooshka]

Thinking about marriage/women's rights on Vulcan Some may think that T'Pring not being allowed to divorce Spock was because he was going through the pon farr but if she were allowed to divorce him at all she probably would have done that a long time ago, confirmed by T'Pol when she's speaking with Koss, who isn't suffering from the pon farr. She says that he can choose another mate (without invoking a fight it seems: note the difference between a 'mate' and a 'challenger') and after he makes it clear that nothing she says will change his mind about marrying her, she finally threatens to declare a kal-if-fee. It's clear that Vulcan women cannot divorce/refuse to marry a man they've been betrothed to under any circumstances if A) He himself doesn't consent to ending their marriage or B) She doesn't have someone else waiting in the wings to be given to in his stead. Though, if the challenger she selects fails to win the fight, she'll have to marry her betrothed anyway unless (again) he decides he doesn't want her after the challenge. That seems like an incredibly unfair system, heavily biased towards men. SNW is an alternate universe in many obvious respects but most egregiously in that T'Pring has a lot of non-canonical agency over her relationship with Spock. It's interesting to me that Vulcan society has women in many positions of power and treats women as equal to men from what I've seen despite these laws. We don't really see Vulcans exhibiting a misogynistic attitude towards women in general but in TOS (perhaps because of its general writing style but it's still interesting to note) both Sarek and Spock take on patriarchal attitudes specifically regarding wives. Amanda says that 'of course' Sarek commands her because "he is a Vulcan and I am his wife." It's worthwhile in my eyes to note that she specifies 'wife' instead of attributing this attitude to women as a whole. Again, with TOS' writing style it wouldn't be out of place for her to say "he is a man and I am a woman." Spock, while in a pon farr induced irritation, states that it's "undignified for a woman to play servant to a man that isn't hers" - again implying that there's something specific about being a Wife in Vulcan society which is different from being a woman in general and demands subservience to a husband. This could perhaps stem from the extreme sense of ownership that Vulcan law has permitted men to have over women. A woman legally cannot point blank refuse marriage. There is no option which guarantees she won't have to marry her betrothed other than death. When T'Pau speaks of T'Pring she refers to her as being 'property' and Stonn, before being interrupted, states he's made 'the ancient claim' - we don't know what this is because he gets cut off but it's obvious they're both using the language of Vulcan law. Men are permitted true freedom to choose. If a woman wants to choose someone else to be with there is no option available to her other than the kal-if-fee which might result in the death of the one she wants to be with. And, if her lover fails, her husband can still just decide he wants to marry her and she'll be forced to. T'Pring gives two scenarios: One where Spock 'frees' her and one where he doesn't - it's still ultimately his decision which is clear when he ends the conversation with "Stonn, she is yours." This again isn't just because of the pon farr as T'Pol also goes through this. Koss can choose another mate and when the option is talked about there's no implication that this would result in any sort of fight (both by the casualness of its mention and by the fact that there's no formal word for it unlike the kal-if-fee.) Also, the fact that Koss does eventually grant T'Pol a divorce and it's all fine means that T'Pol isn't lawfully required to have another man waiting if her HUSBAND doesn't want her. It's ONLY required if SHE doesn't want her husband. Tradition must take precedence over individual desire UNLESS!!! You're a man. Then it's fine. Like, your parents might not be happy but legally you're golden.

[choscar-op81]

[kacievvbbbb]

I’m just very obsessed with the idea that mihawk is useless in a weapon less fight like he cannot throw a punch or get out of a pin to save his life like one he can’t kick he’s done out for the count, and this is why Shanks ends most of their duels this way. Because he’s a filthy cheater and Mihawk is even worse off because it’s Shanks pining him and he has eaten a lot of dirt.

Shanks decides to teach him the art of fighting dirty cause he’s nice that way but also let’s just say that Shanks likes being in a pin a little too much

[bitchthefuck1]

you know what, I actually will talk about this because it's bothering me. The issue with focussing so heavily on syd and carmy's potential for a romantic relationship isn't that there's something inherently unintellectual about romance or whatever, it's that a lot of people seem incapable of doing that without immediately flattening the story and ignoring or intentionally misreading any and all nuance for the sake of that romance. Every scene suddenly becomes about how it impacts their relationship, every analysis is done through a romantic lens, every frame or line of dialogue becomes about finding some easter egg or hint that "proves" these people should start dating. Their dynamic is absolutely a fundamental part of this show, but if you can only see it as a will-they-won't-they, you miss so much of what the story is actually trying to say with these two.

There are good versions of this story where their relationship is romantic and there are good versions of this story where it isn't, but as soon as you decide them being together is "the point," you lose the ability to actually judge the story for what it is, not what you want it to be.

[synth-spinner]

Thinks really hard about superior agreeing to do that for Taka in the recent issue...remembers issue 12💥💥. LOVE this manga they get me fr.. he HATES how he was as doc ock so bad he would rather DIE than go back to being how he used to be even tho he knows he cant win against himself anymore because he refuses to be cruel again.. THATS HOW IT SHOULD BEEEE THEY GET IT... sick and twisted to me knowing how superior vol 2 ended up resetting him anyway.. AAAARGRGGHHHGGGGHHHGHHHH💥

[walrus150915]

Made this image a few months ago and I feel like this is still very accurate to how I feel about "Beta Ambrosius was so much better!! We were robbed" take😬

(I'm speaking about the design/LOOKS specifically, not the character - campy Ambrosius from the novel is one of my favorite things abt the novel itself)

[a-s-levynn]

Hi Foap

[buttercup-barf]

Under the cut are mostly self-insert doodles of decreasing quality. Again, not much directly tied to Team Fortress 2. Might as well toss these out while I have no access to my puter. Much yapping under the cut and in the tags incoming.

Another self-insert, this time less of a "here's me as a tenth class" and more of a "here's my game experiences translated into the class I would take the place of". The Cleaner. Although I guess they could still be wearing either suit. It doesn't matter that much.

That one Convict's Case taunt with Backup would be extremely funny, because the man would be on the verge of a breakdown (he does not want to go to jail so bad you have no idea). The second image- I owe no explanation. You know what I am. You see the pattern with my favourites.

The duality of the man. Resting face versus "just heard you express interest in religion/Russian folklore" face. He's not that hard to make friends with, when you pull him away from all the explosions.

Some doodles of trying to figure his face out. Unfortunately, the more I stare at him, the more I worry that he looks like A Certain Guy With The Last Name "Kazarin", and the fear of never being original in my life caught up to me.

Don't look at me, don't perceive me, I refuse to explain any of my actions to you.